You seem to be somewhat aware of this when you state that you walk away from emotionally distant men – and yet you claim they’re the only people you sleep with, since the “vast, vast, vast” majority of men are unattractive to you. I agree, she’s self-aware and right to be concerned if that hindera her goals.And here you are, writing to me, wondering if you will ever be able to love anyone. I can’t “fix” you from here, but I can tell you that something is very wrong if you only find 2 people attractive “every few years.” There’s being discerning, and there’s being impossible, and you’ve unfortunately raised the bar so high that no man can jump it. I’m just bracing for some of the responses that are coming.I’m not a psychologist who has been trained to delve into your past; my specialty is helping women in the present model confident behavior to elicit better results in the future.Your issue, in this instance, isn’t lack of confidence; it’s something that runs much deeper, something you only hinted at when you say that your family “messed you up.” Without knowing you, I have to concur.
In 2015 the France link ran at 81% capacity and the Netherlands one at 91%.
You are attracted to the wrong men for reasons beyond your control.
You need to rewire yourself on what it means to be in a healthy relationship.
Just read what you wrote to me:“(I) avoid intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive.”Sorry, but I want to challenge that assertion.
You avoid intimacy by going out with people you DO find attractive – because the only people you find attractive are, in your words, “cold and narcissistic.”That begins in your childhood, SG, usually with an absent, distant, or abusive father. The only men you’re drawn to are the worst ones; the other 99%, you eliminate because you’re not attracted to them.