"Think about your mate as someone you want to end up in bed with at the end of the evening." 5. "If there's something you'd like your spouse to do, you have three choices," says Rosenblum."Keep it to yourself and let it fester; bad rap them to your friends; or talk about it."Having a good marriage takes education," Markham says.
Are the lucky couples who continue to love and lust and live in relative harmony just that -- people whom the fates have blessed? Love isn't a present that gets handed to you; it's a special kind of learned behavior.But more than likely he'll explain he's not good at buying flowers, he passed a shop and thought about it but didn't know which flowers to buy. Most of us -- men and women alike -- don't realize that even small gestures go a long way to making our mates, and our marriages, happy.One man I spoke with, now divorced, took Scott Hahn’s Christian marriage class with his theology-major fiancée.If a few weeks go by and you still don't get those roses, have a second conversation."Gee, I don't know what to make of the fact that I told you I'd love to get flowers once in a while and you haven't bought any." If he gets defensive and discussion becomes impossible, you might consider seeing a marriage counselor who can offer advice for a good marriage.When in doubt, follow Ogden Nash's sage advice for resolving conflicts: To keep your marriage brimming With love in the marriage cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up. "It's ironic that when we're wooing our partners, we make this tremendous effort, and after we get into a relationship, we put that on the back burner." Think about your partner as someone you want - and someone you want to entice to fall in love with you over and over again.